It is Monday, two days after the last posting. A dullness prevails.
John Admin
A normal day
To most people I have just had a normal day, but I have had a vague background feeling of unease, that things are not quite right.
My sinus' are blocked, my stomach feels bloated and a dull air surrounds me. Someone I met yesterday described herself as 'having been lost' for several years - looking after both parents, children, husband leaves ...... She has now found an element of stillness and is waking up.
I realised that my feeling is just above the level of 'lost' and 'asleep'. How easily I could slip into this state.
I then realised that I knew people for whom 'lost' is a good adjective. No-one is easily going to say 'you are lost' or even notice the state. The body doesn't recognise the state to itself and doesn't send a wake up call. What's that about? Something within us wants us asleep?
I know intellectually what needs doing (find the awowness everywhere), but the dis-conect makes this hard at the moment.
I will keep journalling here, it is helping to keep me 'here'.
