There is some comfort in routine, but creativity comes from opening. This can cause closing down (depression). Perhaps we are all bi-polar to some extent.
John Admin
Comfort
It was so good today doing four hours of work (maths tuition). I was totally in my comfort zone for a morning, doing something I have done full time for nearly 40 years, until leaving work two years ago.
This is like the warm waves washing over me (image from a recent exploration posting).
I am sitting here now, Saturday afternoon, quite tired, but at least the anxiety has been lost in activity.
Why is it that a commitment, to teach in this case, is easier than self discipline? A routine imposed from outside, at the moment, is easier to take than devising my own routine, even though creativity comes from my own routines.
Perhaps the act of 'standing still', even in a good space, can't last forever. Perhaps the anxiety is causing something to change within me for the next opening. Like any day, there are openings and closings.
I have just watched a TV programme where someone spent six weeks learning a new creative skill. After five weeks he crashed into depression and slept for much of the final week. Opening and closing happen all the time.
I am glad to have the awareness to observe some of this. I have a day of activity tomorrow. I look forward to observing how that develops.
