I am allowing myself to feel the anxiety within me and within others. This is Friday and I will try and add thoughts daily for a while.
John Admin
Nothing to do
This is an unusual week. Today there is nothing I have to do. There is a long list of things that need doing, but that's not the same thing. If I sit around all day or stay in bed no-one else would mind.
I will feel what this is like for a while. As part of my work for MIND (mental health charity) I meet several people who face this situation every day with no potential end. After five hours feeling what this would be like on just three days this week leaves me 'stir crazy'. In that sense I have allowed the anxiety to remain with me.
Here lies my comfort zone! At a discussion group last night, following a meditation with the group, I said I felt as though a warm sea was gently soothing me all over. How much it can take sometimes to challenge that comfort.
My personality type puts physical comfort high on my priority list - so please leave me alone and let me be in my own peace or melancholy!(This is not an instruction ha ha)
I am amazed how quickly that wish for peace returns, like curling up in a foetal ball, thumb in mouth. A few days of feeling what that is like and there is a change in my mind and body.
A year ago I could not have experienced this safely. The fact is that I have greater awareness now and can observe it without getting lost in it.
I do have things to do today and I will do them, but I want to experience this situation a little more right now.
