Having been really 'with it' for several months (and not writing on this site) I suddenly feel quite low. I know (hope) this won't last for long. This is Tuesday. The following explorations are written daily from now.
John Admin
Heightened Awareness
For some reason this weak everything is being exaggerated. Out of the deep calm from the last Embracing Change weekend has come vulnerability. Playing sad music (like the Schindlers List music on 'Discussion §6') makes me feel sadder; eating a meal makes me feel grateful; just sitting is blissful; caffeine makes me feel over sensitive quickly.
This isn't entirely comfortable. I put it down to ego trying to unsettle me; it is the negative events which surface strongly. Whenever something like peace arises the mind brings in something else to try and block it.
It was only last week that I imagined my anxiety when I wrote the ebook had fallen away; then this ego brings back a low level anxiety, which I then resist, which makes it worse.
I wonder why it is that my writing coincides with anxiety, I have been 'happy as Larry' for weeks?
