This is a brief bridging section to explain the previous 8 months. This is, of course, impossible. There has been a reduction in mind thoughts and in place of it is intuition, which isn't entirely welcomed by some as I can't remember past dates and times clearly and the future interests me less.
John Admin
8 Months
It has been this long since I have written anything on this part of the site, and of course it becomes harder to find suitable additions to the 'discuss sections' part of the site.
I have re-read the ebook, and hardly recognise some of it. I have also listened to some of the audio files on 'get awowness/ downloads 1-52' and a friends' response that 'I seem sad' makes sense.
I have spent two plus years since writing the first part of this site in a sad space, which I didn't realise at the time. I had just left my job due to ill health, but I suspect it takes a long time to get over that.
When I am too close to a situation it is difficult to see it clearly.
Over the last 8 months much has been happening, but my wish to write it down has been weak. I have started a journal again since January 2010, which I have found useful.
Several friends have noticed that I am lighter in attitude, and I received a nice comment last week that my presence is powerful (as it has been for a while), but that it is taking a lot less effort to maintain that. This reduction in energy input has had several effects:
1) I am much more aware when my ego kicks in. 2) I have more energy to be intuitive and creative. 3) I am more relaxed.
Also, I have hardly read any books over this time; mainly books looking at 'process' rather than 'belief' and mainly Arnold Mindell. My belief system has collapsed in favour of experience.
Twice (or more) in recent months I have found a movement/ sound response to a room in conflict, which has transformed the energy in the room. This may only make sense after reading Mindell or attending Embracing Change, but my intuition and creativity often involve feeling the energy in a room and then interpreting it without words. This can involve poetry as well.
Over this time my voice has been blocked with Catarrh (mucus blocking nose and throat); a feeling like drowning at times. I'm sure this has prompted me to find non-verbal responses.
